Yikes…The Cat is Out of the Bag…So to Speak…

Yesterday, I awoke from my late afternoon nap when I smelled G. gallus domesticus. Now, mind you this was not just ordinary G. gallus domesticus, but the preferred Foster Farms G. gallus domesticus. Before I launch into the crisis at hand, I must digress for a moment and share some thoughts.

The Lady has become friends with her former Union rep, Roger. Like The Lady, he is a humankind foodie who is also a former chef. He and The Lady love to discuss cooking.

One day Roger told The Lady he was headed to Longview to Foster Farms. The Lady asked him what happened to the G. gallus domesticus who refused to organize…according to Roger, they end up in the frying pan and that is precisely what woke me up from my nap…unorganized G. gallus domesticus sautéing in the kitchen. I understand that the G. gallus domesticus from Arkansas are much easier to organize due to a diet of pepperoni pizza and other junk food plus the addition of a lot of unnatural crap. At least according to Foster Farms commercials, that’s what they eat.

Speaking of commercials, The Lady loves those silly Trunk Monkey commercials from Suburban Motor group. Her cousin, Dan, knows of this love and has given The Lady her very own Trunk Money (stuffed and hanging off my desk swag lamp) and a Trunk Monkey T-Shirt. BTW, I’ve seen those commercials and that is no monkey (trunk or otherwise), it is a Pan troglodytes…whatever happened to “truth in advertising?”

Here’s a bit of trivia…did you know that Pam troglodytes laugh? I kid you not…just like the humankinds, they recognize ridiculous predicaments and enjoy the irony. You can also get a young Pan troglodyte to laugh if you tickle it…

Anyway, those luscious smells coming from the kitchen woke me and it could only mean one thing; a little G. gallus domesticus would end up in my chow dish. I wandered into the kitchen area about the same time The Man did…it’s safe to assume the same smells woke him from his own late afternoon nap and he knew some G. gallus domesticus would end up in his chow dish as well…

I eavesdropped on the conversation The Lady and The Man were having. Like the Pan troglodyte, they were laughing…they do that a lot…laughter being the best medicine and all…when suddenly I felt terror strike in my heart and my feline blood began to run cold…The Lady was discussing with The Man the possibility of “ungrounding” me (that was good news…places to go; humankinds to observe). You may recall the unfortunate “smoking incident”.

At first I thought I had misunderstood; I prayed I misunderstood. If not, I knew at that moment, “Mother Ship, we have a problem.” The Brain was not going to be happy…

I needed to react quickly but nonchalantly. The last thing I wanted was for The Man to think he might be onto something. The mission must be protected at all costs. To confound the Man and hopefully move him off-topic, I rubbed his legs…hey, don’t knock it, it works… ask The Lady…

I listened carefully and I heard the words clearly; the words that threatened everything we feline observers have accomplished over time – a real threat should The Man’s discovery get out and other humankinds agree. (Quite frankly, I didn’t think he was that clever. It’s always the ones you least expect, isn’t it?)

The Lady laughed and said “Let me get this straight. You think cats are aliens. Aliens from another planet.” The Man confirmed that was his suspicion. The Lady asked him to explain and this was when panic set it…

The Man said, “Think about it. Most cats are strays that just show up at your door one day. Muff was a stray; Miff was a stray; Biff was a stray; Buff was a stray (Buff lived with The Lady’s brother, Joel, God rest his soul); Mike Tyson was a stray and Spaulding Gray is a stray. All of Judy’s cats are strays; Dave Willis has a stray; Amy, your BCFF, has a stray. We all have strays.” The Lady laughed again and asked with skepticism, “So?”

The Man continued, “Here’s what happens.” (I guess he thinks he’s as clever as Monk, “the humankind world’s greatest detective” – Monk has his own TV show; it’s almost as popular as the President Obama Show…) Aliens arrive in a spaceship and need to insinuate themselves into our society in order to spy on us. What better way than to beam down; assume the form of a stray cat; take up with a family and voila (no wonder he likes Brie de Nangis; he speaks French, who knew?)…a spy in our midst. We think cats are these innocent animals we save (and take away certain, critical body parts…). We speak freely in front of them; they watch our every move.”

By this time The Lady had stopped laughing and was looking at The Man as though she was sure he had lost his mind… she does that a lot. I relaxed a bit; thinking she wasn’t buying his latest nutty thought pattern. Perhaps she would keep him in check and save our secret from becoming public knowledge.

But no, that’s when she dropped the bomb, “So using your theory that would mean Mike Tyson was some kind of commander.” The Man replied, “Exactly, he spent half the week with us and when we went to go to the desert on Thursday, he spent those days with Julie. Mike Tyson had at least two houses to watch. He had to be an important leader for the aliens.”

I was filled with conflicting thoughts. First of all, I was humbled to be reminded I had been chosen to assume the legendary Mike Tyson’s mission; but The Man had figured it all out including that there are low-level watchers and upper-level commanders who control entire streets. He even knew how special the legendary Mike Tyson was.

I dread reporting to The Brain. Perhaps I can wait and see if other humans tumble to The Man’s “theory”. But alas, that is not to be.

The Lady went to her computer and starting emailing all her friends with stray cats; warning them to be careful about what they say and do in front of their feline friends. After several humankinds reported back, she told The Man, “From now on, when we want to discuss important matters; we’ll have to use the shower. Spaulding Gray will never follow us into the rain closet.”

Yep, The Brain is going to be royally pissed…

The Kerrygold Family of Cheeses – Part Three – Kerrygold Butters

Kerrygold Butters

Conor O’Donovan, who works for Kerrygold, came to The Lady’s kiosk recently to sample the Dubliner cheese and one of the Kerrygold Butters. He graciously gave The Lady a few coupons and she used one to buy Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter.

Now The Man will only use this butter on his Dave’s Killer Bread (the best bread in the entire humankind world) and other food that is enhanced by the addition of butter. Like The Man, I can’t think of a single food that cannot be “enhanced” by Kerrygold Butter. The Lady agrees; however, since she went on The Diet (she has now lost 67 pounds…13 more and she will have lost Lara Flynn Boyle…who really needs to eat a sandwich…with mayo…that is one skinny broad, in this feline’s humble opinion), she doesn’t eat butter.

And you know what that means…more for me and The Man…

Kerrygold Butter is not just any everyday butter…this is butter. Once again, terroir rears its lovely head and makes another divine manna from Ireland. This butter is creamier, brighter in colors…all that beta carotene…and spreads as smoothly as Hollywood gossip. You can do anything with it; spread on crusty baguettes; use it in sauces; bake with it…you’ll never have a flakier croissant than the one made using Kerrygold Butter…hey, just throw a little straight Kerrygold Butter in my chow dish and this feline foodie will have a licking good time…not to be confused with The Lady’s friend, Nate and his “lick and run theory”.

Kerrygold makes its butter salted or unsalted and one with Garlic and Herbs.

This feline foodie gives Kerrygold Butters 4 out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving suggestions: In addition to those listed above, melt a pat on your favorite steak; toss it with pasta; melt it on steamed veggies; schmear it on a bagel; use it to make garlic bread; spread it with Ficoco on raisin toast…the possibilities are endless.

Source: Cow’s milk from Dairy Cattle that graze freely (for Nate) on Irish grass.

Before I go…let me leave you with a parting thought…do you know why leprechauns wear green undies on St. Patrick’s Day? To protect their lucky charms, of course…

Up next: Kerrygold Blarney Castle.

DPI: Spaulding Gray is Calling You Out

As most of you know by now, this feline foodie says what’s on his mind…but I was surprised to learn that DPI had blocked my blog from viewing by its employees…

I understand the concept of internet filters but what could I have possibly said that offended DPI’s filter or was of such a sexual nature to get gnarled up in their content web?

So I reviewed a few of my entries and wonder which of these comments caught the attention of “the man” in IT:

Was it:

Referring to why Monks invented so many good cheeses, wines and liqueurs: “…here’s a news flash…when you give up sex; there’s nothing left but eating and drinking.”

Maybe this was the one:

Recounting a conversation with The Brain about living with The Lady: “…the bad news was “she’s gonna chop off your balls”.

Perhaps calling the 535 Members of Congress “Rat Ass Bastards” went over the line, regardless of the truthfulness of the statement (The Lady’s feelings, certainly not mine…)

Maybe it was the “Who Cut the Cheese” video clip from Two and a Half Men. Fart jokes seem to delight most humankind males and offend humankind females…this feline foodie’s observation is it has to do with DNA.

Was it revealing that The Lady think Camillo Villegas, a young pro golfer, has a “cute butt”?

It might have been my empathic statement about Copernicus, the “randy” billy goat owned by at Amy, Queen of Cheese, when I stated, “Personally, I understand the dilemma that Copernicus faced – getting laid immediately (strong incentive for any male) or the possibility of the vet neutering you and never getting laid again…what’s a guy to do???”

Hmmm…maybe I do deserve to be censored…nope…I just call em as I see em…

Call your Congressman, a member of the 535 Rat Ass Bastard Club…according to The Lady, and ask them to pass a Bailout Bill for this feline foodie. Better yet, call DPI and tell them to let Spaulding Gray back in the house…

The Kerrygold Family of Cheeses – Part Two – Aged Cheddar

Kerrygold Aged Cheddar

 

 

 

Before I review Kerrygold Aged Cheddar, I must lodge a quick complaint about the goin-ons around here at the manse today.

The Lady and The Man went to lunch; they go to a new restaurant every Tuesday and leave me alone “pulling on me plum” (I know what you’re thinking and you would be wrong… it’s Irish slang for “laying around doing nothing”… just trying to keep with the theme of the review…).

Anyway I was aroused from my early afternoon nap; the one that follows my late morning nap, to the sound of the garage door going up. I raised myself, stretched and prepared to rub on The Lady until she fed me my afternoon snack…but no…the door burst open and in came all the “wee folk” aka The Lady’s “posse”. Ten kids screaming and shouting, all under the age of twelve, all invading my house to weave with The Lady…well, except Viktor, he’s five and he comes for “the snacks”…most likely snacks are at the top of the list of the other nine but they are too polite…if you want to check out the posse, you can by visiting The Lady’s photo albums at picasa.

In my continuing review of the sublime Kerrygold Cheeses, today I wish to give you my thoughts about the Kerrygold Aged Cheddar. On their website, Kerrygold states that the recipe for this divine cheese is 1300 years old. It was created by Monks way back even before there was a back in the day.

Have you ever thought about all the wonderful cheeses, wines and liqueurs that were created by Monks? Have you ever wondered why that is? Well, here’s a news flash…when you give up sex; there’s nothing left but eating and drinking. Monks have lots of time to “contemplate” the best things in life: cheese and wine. Now you know that there actually is an upside to celibacy…who knew??? Well, the Monks for sure…

You may have noticed that I tend to go for the more mature cheddars and this one certainly fits that bill. This cheese is aged for one year and tested as the months tick off – some wheels don’t make the grade and get tossed aside. Kerrygold also offers a “reserve” version that gets an extra year of aging before being wrapped and labeled in gold. Now that’s the one you want to eat with a slice of apple or melted on apple pie. It’s so sharp, it curls your paws. Or as The Lady’s poker-playing buddy, Gavin likes to say, “It’s so good, it’ll take the back of your head off.”

It’s a full-bodied cheese with a wonderful, satisfying after taste. You’ll love this cheese.

 

And to add a bit of levity to the review, it also comes in a “reduced fat” version…come on, why eat cheese if not for the fat??? I’m just saying…

I give Kerrygold’s Aged Cheddar 4 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: Try this cheddar in your next Mac and cheese creation; it’ll knock your socks off; grilled cheese to die for and always wonderful on a 34 Degree Natural Crispbread Cracker.

Wine Pairings: You need a wine that will stand up to this cheddar. A California Cab; Merlot or a Sangiovese.

Beer Pairing: Nothing wussy…

Source: Pasteurized Cow’s Milk

Up next: Kerrygold Pure Butters

The Kerrygold Family of Cheeses – Part One – Dubliner

Kerrygold Dubliner

 

My apologies to the Irish in each of you that this review didn’t fall on St. Paddy’s Day…no doubt I was napping or hanging out with The Lady – my two most favorite pastimes behind sampling cheese… and chasing my new Beemster Cheese mice (I’ve started leaving those cute little blue mice on The Lady’s pillow while she’s at work…you should see her smile when she spots them. She says it reminds her of the times the legendary Mike Tyson left gophers on the front doormat, minus the blood and guts, of course).  If truth be told, hanging with The Lady is Numero Uno on my “to do” list cause it’s mandated by The Brain as my top priority. Confession time; I would do it anyway…The Lady gives me cheese and hugs and kisses. I also get to sit on her lap and she scratches my ears whenever I ask…except 2am…that’s when she throws me off the bed…

Before I begin my first (of several Kerrygood cheeses and butters) reviews of the sublime Kerrygold Dubliner, here’s a bit of trivia for you: More than ten per cent of the US humankind population (and quite a few Setters, as well) claims to be of Irish descent – about 36 million humankinds. And that figure is about four times the entire population of Ireland. How can that be, you wonder? Don’t ask me: I got nothing…

Let me begin by bringing in the concept of terroir once more. With the Kerrygold cheeses and butters, terroir definitely plays a big part. Every Kerrygold cow, yep every single one of them, roams free in the fresh Irish mist and graze in pastures lush with tender grass. Another bit of trivia, Ireland boasts one of the longest grass seasons in the world which means the cows are out and about more than cows that produce milk for other regional cheeses. The lush green grass, along with the gentle environment produces a milk rich in beta carotene, an organic compound important to humankinds’ health that literally gives Kerrygold butter and cheeses their golden color. So for those de-bunkers of terroir, all I have to say is, you must be circling over Shannon.

Ireland may be close to England; but the Irish cheeses I have sampled bear no resemblance whatsoever to those English clunkers called Caerphilly and Hard Goat Cheddar. The odds are they exist somewhere in a peat bog but you won’t find them in the pot of gold I like to call Kerrygold.

Kerrygold makes several cheeses and butters that The Lady sells at her Kiosk and Cheese Island. I reviewed the Kerrygold Blue in an earlier post and other than to add how delish it is, I’ll let you check out my review.

Back in the day, before The Lady became a Cheese Steward, she, The Man and I lived near beautiful, downtown Burbank, and we often enjoyed Dubliner Cheese from Kerrygold. When she brought it home last week, it brought back lots of memories including when I still had all my body parts. At the time I didn’t understand “the trade-off” The Brain mentioned when he told me I had been promoted into the much-coveted Mike Tyson observation post. The Brain told me the good news was that The Lady will “love you unconditionally”; the bad news was “she’s gonna chop off your balls”…preferring to believe the food dish is always half-full, I suppose the trade-off evened out…digression seems to catch my fancy far too off…back on track…right, Kerrygold Dubliner…

The Lady has always been a foodie and The Man claims part of his initial attraction to her was her culinary talents. (There were other reasons, but that might be crossing a line…) Let’s just stay with food. The Lady loves to cook and The Man loves to eat…you do the math.

Dubliner is a mature cheese that has a bit of a bite, similar to a good Parmigiano-Reggiano…probably just pissed off the Italians with that comment…it also has a hint of sweetness and nuts. It’s just a bit on the crumbly side. It is golden white in color, remember Kerrygold adds no color to their cheeses, except Leicester which I will discuss later, all the color in Kerrygold cheeses comes from nature…aka that terroir thingie.

Once The Lady crumbled Dubliner on top of a baked potato and The Man was pleased with the outcome.

I give Dubliner 4 out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: Dubliner makes a Grilled Cheese Sandwich taste like manna from Ireland; add a slice to a plate of bangers and mash; melt it on a steak. The Lady used to add it to her biscuit recipe back in the day before The Diet…now those were the good ole days…when calorie caution was thrown to the wind. Now it’s “little bites; little bites”…sheesh, this feline foodie needs more than “little bites” to maintain the rigors of my napping and observation duties…

Of course, you can never go wrong just having Dubliner on a 34 Degree Sesame Crispbread Cracker.

Wine pairings: Cabernet or an oaky Chardonnay

Beer Pairings: Why, a pint of Guinness, of course…

Source: Free-range Cows

34° Crispbread Crackers

I’m pretty much a “meat and cheese” kind of feline foodie.

Last night The Lady insisted that I sample my cheese with crackers, which she assured me contained some of the same grains found in my kitty pate and added that I would enjoy the flat little disks she called “Crispbread”. I feared (wrongly I might add) she was guilty of something we were taught by The Brain in “Observing Humankind 101” – “How do you know a humankind is lying? Their lips are moving.” The Lady claims the same thing is true about those 535 rat ass bastards (her words, certainly not mine) running the US Congress…but I digress…

And once again, she was not BSing me; these little suckers are delicious.

The 34 Degree Crispbread Crackers

34° (from the latitude of Sydney, Australia where the company founder once lived) offers four varieties and it’s hard to pick a favorite.

These crackers are all mouth-wateringly good and don’t intrude upon the flavor of the cheese. Something that greatly annoys The Lady – crackers that overpower the enjoyment of the cheese.

She is one tricky Lady; she enticed me by serving these Crispbreads with some of my most favorite cheeses:

34° Crispbread with Sesame – served with Beemster Vlaskaas Aged Gouda. The sesame flavor is subtle and the cracker just melts in your mouth. The cracker is thin and baked with no added oil; therefore the fat content is practically nil; something this feline foodie must watch. I’d rather get my fat calories from cheese than bread.

Other serving suggestions: Smoked Bolitoglossa taylori which I enjoyed on a trip to Taiwan while patrolling in the Far East Quandrant; Thunnus albacores and avocado, a favorite of The Lady when she and The Man travel to the North Shore of Oahu and dine at her favorite restaurant, Jameson’s by the Sea where they sit out on the patio and watch the sun set over the Pacific Ocean.

34° Natural Crispbread – served with Cotswold Double Gloucester with Onions and Chives. Again, this fancy-smancy Crispbread is simply the cat’s meow when it comes to being the right balance with the cheese. The Lady had the Natural with a sliver of Rogue Creamery Oregon Blue and I thought for a minute she had blacked out from the satisfying taste…she does enjoy her Rogue Creamery Blues…

Other serving suggestions: Just about any cheese from mild to sharp, spicy spreads and Orange Honey Epicurean Butter.

34° Cracked Black Pepper Crispbread – this one she served with Brie de Nangis; a new favorite cheese of The Man. He added some of the Ficoco Spread that The Lady brought home recently. You may recall, I mentioned his sweet tooth…

Other serving suggestions: Kitty Pate, Salami and Triple Creams such as Delice or Saint Andre.

And last; but certainly far from least…

34° Rosemary Crispbread – with the Rosemary The Lady served with Epoisses and all I can say is “Ooo la la, Rosemary Crispbread is viva la difference”.

Other serving suggestions – Herbed Goat Cheese – check out Allison Hopper’s offerings from Vermont Butter and Cheese – she has some fantastic goat cheese logs rolled in other goodies.

You could try the rosemary cracker with hummus and tapenades or even a schmear of Desmognathus auriculatus salad.

I love The Lady; she brings me cheese and 34° Crispbread. I am one lucky feline foodie…and I don’t think she is lying when her lips move…not like those 535 rat ass bastards (again, her words, not mine) running the US Congress.

I give 34° Crispbread Crackers 4 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got) and I am going to throw in a little wagging tail as well.

My Favorite Cheese Videos

Being grounded doesn’t curtail my internet use and gives me more time to explore. I decided to check out YouTube.com and see what kind of fare it had to offer in the area of cheese videos.

Here are a few I found that struck my fancy:

“Who Cut the Cheese” from Two and a Half Men, a sitcom that The Lady and The Man watch and LTAO…it is a funny show. As you might guess The Man also thinks this is a funny video, humankind men in general find this humor more appealing than the humankind women:

Bud Light Wine and Cheese Party Commercial:

“You Sexy Thing”:

The Copper HIll Cheese Roll, 2008.

The English who gave us Caerphilly, Hard Goat Cheddar and Benny Hill sure have a strange concept of a fun Sunday afternoon stroll in the park:

and what cheese video blog would be complete without the classic Monty Python Cheese Shop Sketch:

Vermont Butter and Cheese…and The “Smoking Incident”

The Lady has no sense of humor; nor does she understand the scope of the work I do here on Earth for The Brain.

I asked to go out a couple nights ago; returned with the smell of cigarette smoke in my fur and The Lady grounded me. She accused me of doing something called “cheating” and “stepping out”. I was doing my job. Since my recent promotion to Quadrant Commander, I have experienced problems with the feline observers under my supervision. The Brain called me out the other night and had me make an emergency observation stop at a humankind party when one of my guys fell down on the job.

The Lady should understand; after all she knew and loved Mike Tyson, the legendary SoCal Quadrant Commander.

For those of you who didn’t know the Mighty MT, he was the feline who previously observed The Lady and The Man at their Burbank Home. When they traveled weekly to their Desert Escape in Palm Springs, MT headed down the street and spent the weekends with Julie, his second observation site. After MT became ill with Kitty AIDS, Julie came to visit him and that was when The Lady and The Man discovered he had a “second family”. Upon Mike Tyson’s return to the Mother Ship and The Brain, flowers and cards from many humankinds were laid on the front porch of The Lady and The Man to form a shrine in his honor. MT was loved by many but feared by the canine denizens in the neighborhood, who secretly cheered his departure. The Lady still misses him. I aspire to be remembered as fondly as Mike Tyson. But I digress…

Even though The Lady grounded me, she does still love me because she brought home more cheese for me to sample and review.

And never say never to goat cheese…yep, she brought more goat cheese home. We just celebrated the Chinese New Year but I didn’t recall it being the year of the Goat Cheese… I guess I’ll have to pay better attention.

A few days ago Anna Guensch from DPI came by the Kiosk to visit and brought Allison Hooper, President of the American Cheese Society and Owner of the Vermont Butter and Cheese Company. The Lady briefly met Allison last fall at a Cheese Show where Allison spoke. Allison brought cheeses for The Lady to sample. Anna teased The Lady about not liking goat cheese and Allison expressed concern. The Lady sucked it up and assured Allison that she would keep an open mind and even if she didn’t personally like goat cheese, she could sell it. Hey, if The Lady can sell hard goat cheese…she can sell any goat cheese…

But what The Lady brought home is not just “any” goat cheese…

A little background on Allison. In the 70s, while a student in France, Allison sent letters to local organic farmers offering her services for the summer. She wasn’t too concerned that she had no farm experience; she was eager to work and willing to work hard. A family in Brittany offered her room and board in exchange for working with them making artisanal cheese. A calling was found and today Allison, along with her partner, Bob Reese make award-winning cheeses and butter and other exceptional dairy products.

What The Lady tasted and brought home for me to taste were three goat cheeses and cows’ cultured butter.

The first was Fresh Crottin, a young, light, goat cheese that has a mild lemony, floral and nutty flavor. It is creamy and smooth in texture.

Fresh Crottin

 

 

 

I give Vermont Butter and Cheese Fresh Crottin  3 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got)

Serving Suggestions: I think this would be divine sliced on a bed of spinach and field greens (according to The Man “field greens” is code for “weeds”…). You might slice it and put it on a piece of Naan and pop it under the broiler until the cheese starts to bubble.

Wine Pairings: Light White wine, Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc

Source: Goats’ Milk

Ingredients: Pasteurized goats’ milk, culture, enzymes, salt

Shelf Life: 50 days from “Made on Date”

Fat Content: 21%

 

Bijou was the next cheese we tasted and this one knocked my socks off…well, I don’t actually wear socks, but you get the picture. The Lady loves hazelnuts and found this cheese to have hints of the filbert flavor with citrus, flowers and yeast. The rind is mild and sweet. Like the Crottin, it is smooth and creamy.

Bijou

 

 

Martha Stewart loves Bijou and calls it one of her “must-haves”. If it’s good enough for Ms. Stewart well, it’s good enough for this feline foodie. Bet she didn’t get this cheese while she was away in the pokey…perhaps at Club Fed you do get Bijou…but the mind wanders again…

I give Bijou 4 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions. Bijou is great toasted and put into a salad. Fold a few slices of Sus scrofa with Bijou and warm in the oven until the Bijou melts…it’s quite yummy. You can also put it inside Phyllo dough and combine with cherries, hazelnuts (The Lady liked this idea) and honey. Bake for a few minutes to make the Bijou gooey.

Wine Pairings: As Bijou ripens and ages, the wine pairing changes as well. When young, serve it with a young white wine. As it becomes more supple, a Gamay is better choice. After 45 days, try pairing it with an aged Cognac.

Source: Goats’ milk

Ingredients: Pasteurized goats’ milk, culture, enzymes, salt

Shelf Life: Up to 75 days depending on ripening preference.

Fat Content: 21%

 

The third cheese was Coupole,

Coupole

 

 

which for some odd reason makes The Lady think of Fred Couples, one of her favorite golfers. I assume it’s the spelling similarity. I watch golf with her and this cheese, while handsome, can’t hold a candle to the good looks of Freddie. According to The Lady, he is the best looking professional golfer playing today, although she does think that Camillo Villegas has a “cute butt”. For some reason that remark annoys The Man. Back on track.

Coupole’s rind has a strong ripened flavor and The Lady and I liked this cheese the least of the three. This cheese has a mild, dense pate and can stand alone on a cheese cart. Vegetable ash is sprinkled on the top.

I give Coupole 3 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: Very eye-pleasing for a cheese platter with fruit and nuts. Use to garnish fried polenta. The Lady thinks it is great with pear and whole wheat bread.

Wine Pairings: Chardonnay or Chenin Blanc

Ingredients: Pasteurized goats’ milk, culture, enzymes, salt

Shelf Life: 75 days, again depending on ripening preferences

Fat Content: 21%

Vegetarian suitable as rennet is non-animal

 

The last tasting was Allison’s Cultured Butter which The Lady tells me was quite like the butter her Gramma LillyMae made on the farm in South Georgia, back in the day when butter was still butter. Not that crap you buy in the dairy section today.

Vermont Cultured Butter

 

 

This butter is made from cream fraiche, which is cultured cream. This is like no butter I have had since hitting the Left Coast. Back in my European Days…yes, but not here in the Northwest.

I give Vermont Cultured Butter 4 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: Anything you usually put that sissy butter on or in…

Source: Cows’ Milk

Shelf Life: 120 Days

Fat Content: 86% – that explains it, doesn’t it???

Awards: Winner Fancy Food Show 2004 “Outstanding Cheese of Dairy Product”

 

The Lady thanks Allison for taking the time to come by the Kiosk and hopes to offer Vermont Butter and Cheese products to her customer in the near future.

Photos in this article are copyright 2009 Vermont Butter abd Cheese Company.

Hard Goat’s Cheddar

Before I begin, a special “shout out” to Michael from Beemster Cheeses  - I am having so much fun with the three Beemster mice you sent me via The Lady for my enjoyment. The Lady tosses them down the tile hallway and my chasing them amuses The Lady and The Man…humans…it doesn’t take a lot, does it?

Winner: 2009 Feline Foodie Award – Cheese That Belongs in the Litter Box

You may recall that I am not a fan of Caerphilly, a tasteless English cheese that reminds me of grade school craft paste that The Lady brought home for me to sample and review. Well, she topped herself by bringing me a sample of hard goat cheddar…what was she thinking?

It’s a well-known fact that The Lady hates goat cheese, ergo, doesn’t it logically follow that there would be no reason whatsoever that she bring home hard goat cheddar for me to taste and review? None, nada, ziparoo…Other than she has decided to take up cat torture as a sport…but I am one crafty feline, if it’s torture she wants, bring it on…where to start…2am is always a good time to wake and annoy her…works every time…oh right, back to this cheese review thing…

The Lady calls The Man every day when she leaves work…ah…isn’t that just adorable? She told him once that it is eleven minutes from the Glenn Jackson Bridge to our garage door. Last night I got a whiff of something that smelled like a rutting billy goat when The Lady was maybe four minutes north of the bridge. We tomcats (sadly, former tomcat, in my case) are renown for our keen sense of smell. One Burbank tom was rumored to walk two miles or more for an “available” female. As the minutes (and miles) ticked away, the smell got stronger and fouler. I had The Man let me out on the deck to check the yard for roaming Capra aegagrus.

When I heard the garage door opening, I was knocked over as the odor invaded the house and took my breath away. I began to hallucinate; something I gave up when The Brain instituted his “Just Say No” drug policy back in the 60s (Nancy Reagan ripped The Brain off and he’s still pissed…) after Timothy Leary’s feline observer “Tuned in, Turned on and Dropped Out” having fallen prey to the allure of the ganja. The good doctor did redeem himself when he wrote the best-seller, Your Brain is God; no doubt paying homage to The Brain. I digress…

The Man looked at me; I looked at him and we both bolted for the door to make sure The Lady hadn’t died upon arrival…nope The Lady was fine…it was what she carried in her hand that was causing my eyes to sting and my whiskers to curl.

Where do I start?

The first question is “Why in the world would any self-respecting Cheesemaker (even an English Cheesemaker) produce such a vile cheese?” This of course begs the second question, “Why in the world would any self-respecting cheesemonger (especially The Lady) sell such a vile cheese in her lovely kiosk?” And that of course begs the third and most perplexing question for this feline foodie, “Why in the world would anyone, even of the humankind persuasion, eat this vile cheese willingly?”

As has been discussed here, many stinky cheeses taste divine; Epoisses being the quintessential example; but there was no way in hell that this cheese was going to taste better than it smelled…nope, just wasn’t going to happen.

Amy, aka The Queen of Cheese and The Lady’s BCFF (best cheese friend forever), is not a big fan of this cheese either and for similar reasons; it smells horrific; it invades the nose; sets up camp; and refuses to leave.

In a previous incarnation, Amy raised goats and made fresh goat cheese also known as Chevre, if you are of the hoity-toity persuasion. She told The Lady a story about taking two of her goats to the vet during a rainfall. The female goat, known as a nanny goat (how cute is that?) happened to be “available” and loved to go for rides. She eagerly jumped up into the back of her SUV, ready to rock n roll…don’t these goats understand what a ride to the vet means?

The billy goat, named Copernicus, was not as eager to go to the vet, (perhaps he had heard “tales from the vet”). Even with a willing nanny already in the SUV, Copernicus resisted. Amy shoved; Copernicus shoved back. Amy lifted; Copernicus became dead weight making for some heavy lifting on Amy’s part. In the process Amy was covered with mud and pungent billy goat rutting aroma; the smell made more intense by the wet rain.

Personally, I understand the dilemma that Copernicus faced – getting laid immediately (strong incentive for any male) or the possibility of the vet neutering you and never getting laid again…what’s a guy to do??? This feline foodie hopes that Copernicus returned home intact (my first trip to the vet, I was not so lucky…).

According to The Lady, Amy relives the day every time she smells this English answer to German limburger.

Now that I have laid the groundwork, does the cheese taste better than it smells? Absolutely not…if anything, it tastes worse…what’s with the English? They really know how to give cheese a bad name.

One English Cheese maker claims that their hard goat cheddar is the perfect balance between goat and cheddar – my ass.

I give Hard Goat’s Cheddar NO Paws because this cheese should be dragged into the litter box and covered with sand; which is precisely what I did.

There are NO serving suggestions.

There are NO wine pairings other than if forced to eat this cheese; drink as much as possible to get drunk to forget the horror.

Ditto with beer pairings.

Source: Goats, God’s way of telling you that there are worse things than humankinds…

Awards: yeah, right…like that could ever happen.

Parting comments: Under NO circumstances should you eat this cheese unless you are crazy and The Lady tells me there are a lot of crazy folks who love this cheese…Sheesh…humans…

Ilchester’s Applewood Smoky Cheddar

Ilchester's Applewood

Vegetarian- Suitable Cheese

According to The Lady, you can smell the smoke when you cut into a wheel of this cheddar.

The Lady says this English cheddar from Ilchester Cheese in Somerset, England is worth its cost. Most of the English Cheddars she sells in the kiosk are not worth their cost per pound and she cannot justify purchasing them over a good aged Vermont or Tillamook cheddar. For her “everyday” cheddar The Lady buys the Vintage (aged over 2 years) White Tillamook cheddar (about $7.00 a pound). She likes it; The Man likes it and this Feline Foodie also likes it…but I digress…

Even though you can smell the smoke, this cheese is no longer actually smoked; it is flavored to re-create the smoky flavor from back in the day. It is a creamy cheddar and does not crumble like its sharper cousins. The outside is rubbed with paprika to give it a rich earthy clay look.

The Man especially likes this cheese and wishes The Lady would bring it home more often. So does this Feline Foodie.

It is vegetarian friendly as Ilchester uses vegetable rennet to start the cheese-making process.

Let this cheese stand at room temperature for at least a half hour to fully enjoy its flavor.

This Feline Foodie gives Applewood 4 out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving suggestions: Best as a table cheese on a cheeseboard with other fine cheeses. It melts well and can be used in sauces and goes well in a risotto dish. Goes nicely with sliced apples…imagine that…

Wine Pairings: Applewood goes well with merlot and shiraz grape wines. These will bring out the mature flavor of the cheese.

Beer Pairings: Hard Cider.

Awards: Yes, according to the Ilchester website but no mention as to what awards have been won.

Source: Cow’s Milk.