Beecher’s Flagship Reserve

T Minus Three Days and Counting…You can Still Vote by clicking here…please send this feline foodie to Wisconsin…yes, I still live with what The Lady likes to call my “misguided perception” that the manse is run like a democracy…hope springs eternal…

Flagship Reserve Display in the Kiosk

A day The Lady had been awaiting finally arrived on Thursday when The Beecher’s Flagship Reserve truckles were delivered to the Kiosk. She has been begging for this cheese for months. What her kiosk lacked was a great American Cheddar, with all due respect to the regular Beecher’s Flagship, which The Lady and The Man love, as well.

The wait is over; another goal has been achieved and clicked off her “To accomplish” list…

In 2007, The American Cheese Society named Beecher’s Flagship Reserve “America’s Best Cheddar” and they sure got that right.

Flagship Reserve is a bandaged cheddar, wrapped in cloth and open-air aged for at least one year. This cheese made only on days when the milk composition is just right (think Terroir). The curds on these days allow for a lower moisture and higher salt content but keep the creamy finish that Kurt Dammeier (whose middle name is Beecher) demands of this fine cheese. By air-aging this cheddar there is a 14-16% moisture loss during the aging and that concentrates the rich flavor and produces a finish that stays on the palate longer.

Beecher trivia: Kurt learned to make cheese at Washington State University, where the agriculture department produces Cougar Gold cheddar. While working at the kiosk in Vancouver, The Lady discovered that fans of Cougar Gold could be easily converted to devotees of Beecher’s Flagship. There were enough similarities between the two cheeses, to satisfy those WSU folks who previously thought that Cougar Gold was “the cat’s meow”…what’s up with that phrase…

Another bit of trivia: Beecher’s Handmade Cheese is located in Pike’s Place in Seattle, right next door to the original Starbucks location…how’s that for a great culinary destination???

Yesterday, the Lady cracked the first truckle (derived from the Latin word “trochlea”…I knew that three years of Latin at WHS when observing in the Jefferson County Quandrant would finally pay off) of Flagship Reserve and began sampling and selling it. The response was universal, “Wow, this is great cheese!!” The sales were brisk and this morning The Lady will be cracking the second truckle, cutting and wrapping this superb cheddar from Seattle’s own Beecher’s Handmade Cheese…God bless America (for Nate’s dad) and Kurt Dammeier…

This feline foodie gives Kurt and his Flagship reserve 4 Paws out of 4 Paws…it may be all I’ve got; but how in the world could I give this cheddar anything less…after all, he also gave the world of cheese No Woman, which you may recall is this feline foodie’s favorite cheese of all time…at least for now…the world of cheese is so big and my journey has just begun.

Serving Suggestions: The Lady let this cheese sit out for about an hour and then she served it with everything, including the proverbial kitchen sink…grapes, the green, seedless kind… pears, strawberries, blueberries, pineapple, 34° Sesame Crispbread, Grand Central Bakery Olive Ciabatta, Ficoco Spread, Boar’s Head Salami. Everything worked, it was a cornucopia of delish foods…The Lady and Flagship reserve were hits with this feline foodie and The Man.

Wine Pairings: A California Cabernet or Hogue Cellar’s Syrah

Beer Pairings: Seattle’s Red Hook

Source: The Crème de la Crème of Cows’ Milk

 

Up next: I will conclude my series of reviews of the BelGioioso Family of Cheeses and cross my Paws that you, my devoted fans, will do the right thing and send this feline foodie to Wisconsin…

The BelGioioso Family of Cheeses – Part Two – The Hard Cheeses of BelGioioso

T Minus Four Days and Counting…You can still vote and comment about whether you think The Lady should take me to Wisconsin by clicking here…cast your votes…

Mathilda, my new love, has voted that I stay in Vancouver and let The Lady do her own thing in Wisconsin. Your caring is causing me great distress…what to do??? What to do??? The Lady says the voting is close and she will continue to review the votes and comments through Monday before she makes her final decision. (I am already packed and ready to go…Mathilda…please understand that if I do go, I shall return to you…you can trust me…)

In 1979 Errico Auricchio moved his family from Italy to the United States with the single goal of making great Italian cheeses in the tradition that his family had honored for over a century.

In Part One, I reviewed Provolone, American Grana, Mascarpone and Fontina. In Part Two, I will review the other Hard Italian cheeses that Errico makes at BelGioioso.

Asiago

 

 

Asiago

 

 

This is a favorite of The Lady. She takes a couple of bones (the rind) of Asiago and tosses them into her marinara sauce to take it to a new level. She has a customer at the kiosk who buys both Asiago and Parmesan bones to add to sauces and soups. This client and his wife are adopting a vegetarian life style and the flavor from the bones helps them make the transition.

Asiago is aged at least five months and has a sweet and nutty flavor. It is made from part skim milk. In 2008 this Belgioioso cheese won third Place at the American Cheese Society Awards.

I give Asiago 3 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: As mentioned above, toss some of the rind into your favorite marinara sauce or soup for added flavor. This cheese makes an excellent table cheese and is perfect for snacking. Cube this cheese and toss it with pasta. You can top it with crusty Italian bread with charcuterie, artichoke hearts, olives and sprinkle with olive oil for a tasty Italian sandwich. You can shred it on pizza, bagels, breadsticks and broil to melt the cheese. You can add Asiago to dips and serve with your favorite crudités. Grill veggies and sprinkle Asiago on top with a little olive oil. I find that tossing Asiago with a little sautéed Mustela nivalis (not to be confused the two-legged species that populate too many workplaces, particularly the US Congress, according to The Lady…certainly not by this feline…) and it is simply bellissimo.

Wine Pairings: Full-bodies red wine.

Beer Pairings: Nut Brown Ale, Malty Brown Ale

Source: Wisconsin Cows’ Milk

Awards: Several since the 1990s including the Third Place noted above.

 

Parmesan

 

 

Parmesan

 

 

Made from skim milk and aged over ten months, this hard cheese is one of the great cheeses of the world. It is used in everyday cooking and also is absolutely the best as a table cheese. The Lady loves to let it sit out for an hour and then serve it with grapes and pears. Like Asiago, it is sweet, buttery and nutty to taste. Even though it is hard, it crumbles well when sitting at room temperature.

I give Parmesan 4 Paws out of Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: The best known sauce is Alfredo and before the diet, The Lady made an Alfredo sauce that brought tears to The Man’s eyes. She tossed pasta, frozen peas (which warm up enough from the heats of the pasta and the sauce and require NO cooking before adding) and julienned Boar’s Head Sweet-sliced ham with her Alfredo sauce. Easy, simple; yet elegant…I miss the good ole days before that damned diet… mix Parmesan into mashed potatoes; top asparagus and bake it; sprinkle grilled veggies; grilled chicken…just about any entrée can benefit from adding Parmesan. With fruit, it makes a terrific light dessert.

Wine pairings: Oaked merlot, Meritage blends

Beers pairings: A Marzen lager

Source: Cow juice

 

Romano

 

 

Romano

 

 

Another hard Italian cheese from BelGioioso that is aged five months and possesses a strong, sharp taste that makes it one of the more popular Italian cheeses. In 2004 and again in 2008, the American Cheese Society awarded BelGioioso Romano cheese First Place – Best of Class. Again, as with most hard Italian cheeses, Romano is a versatile cheese and makes most dishes better when added.

I give Romano 3 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: You haven’t lived until you have added Romano to your favorite mac n cheese. This cheese goes well in risotto; add it to your bread and pizza dough; melt it on your favorite veggies and add it to your sauces and soups. Again, you can pretty much do anything with this cheese.

Wine Pairings: Full bodied reds

Beer Pairings: Bohemian Pilsner

Source: Here’s a newsflash…Cows’ Milk

Awards: Best of Class 2004 and 2008 – American Cheese Society

 

I will conclude my reviews of the BelGioioso Family of Cheeses on Sunday.

Tomorrow I will review Beecher’s Flagship Reserve, which The Lady began selling and sampling in the Cheese Kiosk today. She is so in love with this cheese. She brought a piece home for The Man and me. We will have it tomorrow with a glass of appropriate adult beverages and then I will review it.

Mithilda, sleep well tonight and sweet dreams…

The Roth Kase Family of Cheeses – Part Two – The Blue Cheeses of Roth Kase

To craft their two luscious blues, Roth Kase starts with local family farm milk of the highest quality from Holstein and Jersey cows. The raw milk, which is higher in butterfat than most of the milk used by their competitors, has layers of character that change from season to season…you just can’t get away from Terroir when it comes to making specialty cheeses. The milk is transformed into delicate curds by their cheesemakers who then hoop the curds into traditional round forms. They then salt, pierce and cure the cheese for a minimum of two months. The two months gives the network of natural blue veining time to develop. Roth Kase delivers two blues that are classics, creamy and tangy with a clean, sweet finish.

Buttermilk Blue.

This is a tangy yet mellow blue; a bit bold. This blue is perfect for cooking or as a table cheese.

The milk comes from primarily Jersey cows…I wonder if they know the Kersey Boys…

The cheese is cured for sixty days because it is made from raw milk and those rat ass bastards (The Lady’s opinion…certainly not mine) aka The Government won’t let the cheesemakers sell raw milk cheese that has been aged less than sixty days.

I give Buttermilk Blue 3 Paws out of 4 Paws cause that’s all I’ve got.

Serving Suggestions: As a dip for veggies or as the base of a salad dressing. The Man likes to crumble this cheese on his burgers. It is also excellent in risotto, on a pizza and really kicks your favorite mac n cheese up a notch. I enjoy it crumbled over a nice Mustela putorius furo steak, with the most sincere of apologies to The Lady’s friend Jennifer who keeps those pesky devils as pets…I had absolutely nothing to do with the one that disappeared… It is also excellent with grilled lamb chops and peaches.

Wine Pairings: Late harvest Riesling

Beer Pairings: Yeasty, dark beer

Added Pairing: Gin Martinis, in honor of Norman Hall Wright 1910-2001

Source: Raw bovine juice

Awards: The Roth Kase website states it has won awards but I was unable to ascertain when and/or where…

 

Bleu Affinee

Select wheels of Buttermilk Blue are picked and aged for an additional four months which adds a peppery taste to this blue cheese.

I must give Bleu Affinee 4 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: Blend this cheese with mashed potatoes; spread it on a 34° Degree Crispbread with olives, dates or dried apricots. This cheese also makes an excellent table cheese and can be served with crystallized ginger, pears, peppadews (stuff the peppadew with the blue cheese – The Lady does this as a sample often at the Kiosk) or with roasted peppers (I’ll have to suggest to The Lady that she add some to the family pimento cheese recipe…although the Lady is loath to screw around with tradition…)

Wine Pairings: Port, Cabernet or Amarone

Beer Pairings: Iron Springs Barleywine

Source: Raw Cow Milk

Awards: Yep…at least that’s what Roth Kase tells me…

Crave Brothers Family of Cheeses

 

 

Les Freres

  T Minus 11 Days and Counting…

 

“T Minus” is to remind The Lady of an Air Force/NASA Junket she took to Cape Canaveral/Kennedy Space Center a few years back. While studying her Cheese Junket schedule, she told The Man it was reminiscent of the NASA trip – action-packed from early morning to late night. The NASA junket is one of her favorite memories…let’s hope this cheese making trip will become another favorite memory for The Lady  with 1000 wheels of cheese for the Cheese Stewards to sell this coming Christmas…let’s hope that The Lady takes me along…

This trip is being sponsored by three quality cheese producers and in my continuing effort to suck-up to The Lady in hopes of joining her on the trip; I wanted to educate her and my loyal readers on the cheeses her hosts make.

There are four Crave Brothers: Charles, George, Thomas and Mark who began farming together in 1978 in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin milking 57 cows on a rented farm. In 1980 they purchased their Waterloo dairy farm. It is a family operation with the wives and children making a career of making quality cheese.

Today the milk from their 600 Holsteins is piped directly from the dairy farm to their 6000 square foot cheese factory. They make artisan, farmstead cheese and practice sustainable farming. (In case you don’t know, “farmstead” means that the cheese is made on the same farm where the animals live and are milked.)The Crave Brothers make specialty cheeses on the farm with fresh, quality milk. The cheeses are crafted with care, using old world techniques. Their two licensed cheesemakers have over 45 years of cheesemaking experience.

In 1999, Farm Magazine awarded the brothers second place in the “Best Managed Farm” Contest and in 1993 they received Dairy Farm Family of the Year.

Their cheeses have won more than fifty awards, which I will enumerate as I discuss the individual cheeses.

Crave Brothers Mascarpone

 

 

 

 

 

Mascarpone Label

 

 

 

 

 

The label states “Take me home and taste the difference” and what a difference this mascarpone makes. Mascarpone is used primarily in desserts; one of which is The Lady’s favorite dessert, Tiramisu, which in Italian means “pick-me-up” no doubt from the espresso. If The Lady is in an Italian Restaurant, you can lay down a bet she’ll order Tiramisu – well, you could have laid down that bet prior to The Diet…seventy-one pounds and counting…or losing…

This is a delicate, fresh mascarpone, smoother than Johnny Depp in Don Juan de Marco, a favorite film of The Lady. This Mascarpone is so good you can lick-it-off-the-spoon and have had the best cheese dessert in months…

I must digress to share a moment that just occurred here at the manse…The Lady and The Man are watching Two and A Half Men. Morgan Fairchild was a guest star. The Man asked The Lady, “How old is that woman? She must be at least seventy…”  The Lady asked me to look her birthday up on Google and I reported her birth date as February 3, 1950. The Lady started laughing while The Man sat there with a silly grin on his face (not an untypical grin, I might add); then The Lady said, “You are so dead…” It turns out The Lady was born ten months after Morgan Fairchild…The Man swears that Ms. Fairchild must be lying about her age…and I quote… “After all, she is an actress; it’s her job to lie, especially about her age.” The Lady is NOT particularly amused…

Back to Mascarpone…

This feline foodie gives the Crave Brothers Mascarpone 4 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: In tiramisu; spread it on a wafer or mix it with whipping cream to make a dip for strawberries, pineapple, raspberries. It goes well with poached pears.

Wine Pairings: Combine Mascarpone with a sweet liqueur. Serve with a sweet

wine or champagne for an elegant dessert.

Beer Pairings: Oatmeal Stout – a suggestion from The Man’s BFF, Gary…

Source: 600 Holstein Cows

Awards: 15 Awards since 2003 including First Place, Open Class for Soft Cheese Category,2008 Wisconsin State Fair, West Allis, Wisconsin

 

Crave Brothers Farmstead Fresh Mozzarella

The Lady loves Caprese Salad which she makes with fresh tomatoes and fresh basil from the Aero-Garden she and The Man have on the island in the kitchen. She combines it with fresh mozzarella; sprinkles it with fresh ground pepper and extra virgin olive oil. Did you ever wonder how something could be “extra” virgin…is that like “more” unique?

Aero Garden circa March 15th

The Crave Brothers Mozzarella is oh so creamy and milky that it takes Caprese Salad to new heights. It is a “pasta filata” cheese which means it is kneaded and stretched during production and then formed into logs or balls. The Crave Brothers offer Ciliegine (cherry size), boccocini (ball size), ovoline (egg size), eight-ounce balls, one-pond balls and one-pond logs.

Once more The Crave brothers receive 4 Paws out of 4 Paws for their Fresh Mozzarella (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: In a salad, marinated with EVOO (there’s that “extra virgin” thing again…), on a pizza, or with your favorite pasta dish. The Lady makes an asparagus and fingerling potato pizza and uses fresh mozzarella mixed with some Parmagiano-Reggiano. The pizza also has shallots, fresh garlic and red onions – she calls it her favorite “white pizza” because she does not use any tomatoes and/or tomato paste. Skewers of mozzarella balls and cherry tomatoes make a colorful appetizer.

Wine Pairings: Any Sangiovese- based wine.

Beer Pairings: Rich, dark lager

Source: The same 600 bovine as Mascarpone.

Awards: Seven Awards between 2002 and 2008

 

Crave Brothers Rope Mozzarella

This cheese just cries out for kids. My bet is this cheese would be a hit with that “posse” that invades the manse every Tuesday to hang out with The Lady and weave…sheesh…I hate 3pm on Tuesday…I am so tired of hiding under the bed when those screaming kids coming charging through the door. But they make The Lady happy…her standards are so low at times…

This is a deli-style mozzarella shaped into a rope that forms “strings” when pulled apart.

I give this cheese 3 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: Salads, sandwiches, pasta, pizza.

Wine Pairings: Chianti, Cabernet

Source: Yep, those 600 Holstein Cows

Awards: 13 Awards between 2003 and 2008

 

Crave Brothers Les Freres

 

To reflect their Irish heritage, theCrave Brothers developed Les Freres, a European style cheese that is a semi-soft washed rind cheese. It has an earthy, fruity flavor with a nutty aftertaste. The best age for the young version is 3 weeks. As it ages it resembles an Alsatian Muenster. The Lady compares it to the Chaumes that she sells at the Kiosk.

I give Les Freres 3 Paws out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: Serve it with crusty bread and fruit and nuts.

Wine Pairings: Prosecco or Pinot Grigio

Source: Pasteurized Cow’s milk from a herd of 600 tired but happy Holstein…surprise…

Awards: Seven Awards between 2003 and 2008.

 

For More Information, visit the Crave Brothers website.

Up next: Roth Kase Family of Cheeses.

Countdown to Wisconsin: T Minus 12 Days

The Lady and I are currently engaged in a strange dance of impasse; she pretends that I have no interest in traveling with her to Wisconsin on her cheesemaking junket and I am ignoring her and pretending that The Man is now my favorite humankind…she doesn’t appear to be buying it…perhaps she doesn’t give a damn…nay…I am her favorite…at least after The Man…

To prove my worth on the trip (after all who would blog for her each evening and report her adventure if not this feline foodie?) I have spent most of today while The Lady was in the cheese mines, researching the three hosts of the Wisconsin trip: Roth Kase, Crave Brothers and BelGioioso. I am now familiar with their cheeses.

I conferred with The Man and coaxed him into buying samples of each cheese for me to taste and review. I ask you, what better way for me to show The Lady that she can’t make the trip without me…at least she wouldn’t have half as much fun as she would with me as her roommate…

Many of the cheeses that these fine cheesemakers produce are sold at The Lady’s Cheese Island (no to be confused with The Kiosk). The Island is located next to The Kiosk and carries specialty cheeses that are pre-cut and pre-packaged. The Lady refers to the Cheese Island as being “Beverly Hills Adjacent”. That’s a SoCal term used for the cities that border BH; really nice places to live, but not quite Beverly Hills…

I will begin my reviews tomorrow with the Farmstead Cheeses of Crave Brothers: Mascarpone, Fresh Mozzarella, Rope Part Skim Mozzarella and Les Freres (pronounced “lay frair”).

On T Minus 5 Days, I will conduct a survey of my loyal readers as to whether you think The Lady should take me along…that will give me plenty of time to pack and get my “stuff” together…

Golf, Tradition and Pimento Cheese Sandwiches

Joel and The Lady New Year's Eve 1993

 

 

The Lady loves to watch golf and her favorite PGA tournament is The Masters.

That means this week is her favorite week to watch golf. The DVR has been set (with care) for all four days. Yesterday and today, she walked in the door from the cheese mines; took a Jacuzzi bath and hunkered down to watch the first and second rounds. Much un-lady-like hooting and yelling went on and a couple of times while I was napping on her lap, I suddenly found myself on the floor. (For those of you who know The Lady, like most everything else she does in life, she watches golf with a lot of passion…and I mean a lot of passion…that’s part of her “charm” according to The Man.)

But this is also a bittersweet week of golf for The Lady.

In 2005, she was in Atlanta and she watched The Masters, all four days, with Joel, her baby brother. That was the last time she saw him alive. For many years before 2005, they “watched” The Masters together via the phone across country. It was a tradition.

Another tradition was eating pimento cheese sandwiches while they watched the tournament. Pimento cheese sandwiches are served at Augusta National (in green wax paper wrapping); and if they were good enough for The Masters, they were good enough for Joel and The Lady.

The Lady makes her pimento cheese sandwiches using a closely-guarded recipe that she pried out of her mother several years back. It is a recipe that came from her mother and probably her mother before her. Another tradition. The Lady will not allow me to divulge the recipe here but will admit that she does not use cheeses that she sells in the kiosk. Instead, staying with tradition, she’ll make the pimento cheese tomorrow night using both sharp and extra sharp cheddars.

And on Sunday The Lady and the Man will eat wax paper-wrapped pimento cheese sandwiches on plain old Wonder Bread (the only day of the year that The Lady would even consider eating Wonder Bread…it’s a tradition…) while they watch the final round of the 2009 Masters, reminisce about Joel with lots of laughter and a few tears.

The Lady loves The Masters; but not as much as she misses her baby brother.

The Kerrygold Family of Cheeses – Part Three – Kerrygold Butters

Kerrygold Butters

Conor O’Donovan, who works for Kerrygold, came to The Lady’s kiosk recently to sample the Dubliner cheese and one of the Kerrygold Butters. He graciously gave The Lady a few coupons and she used one to buy Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter.

Now The Man will only use this butter on his Dave’s Killer Bread (the best bread in the entire humankind world) and other food that is enhanced by the addition of butter. Like The Man, I can’t think of a single food that cannot be “enhanced” by Kerrygold Butter. The Lady agrees; however, since she went on The Diet (she has now lost 67 pounds…13 more and she will have lost Lara Flynn Boyle…who really needs to eat a sandwich…with mayo…that is one skinny broad, in this feline’s humble opinion), she doesn’t eat butter.

And you know what that means…more for me and The Man…

Kerrygold Butter is not just any everyday butter…this is butter. Once again, terroir rears its lovely head and makes another divine manna from Ireland. This butter is creamier, brighter in colors…all that beta carotene…and spreads as smoothly as Hollywood gossip. You can do anything with it; spread on crusty baguettes; use it in sauces; bake with it…you’ll never have a flakier croissant than the one made using Kerrygold Butter…hey, just throw a little straight Kerrygold Butter in my chow dish and this feline foodie will have a licking good time…not to be confused with The Lady’s friend, Nate and his “lick and run theory”.

Kerrygold makes its butter salted or unsalted and one with Garlic and Herbs.

This feline foodie gives Kerrygold Butters 4 out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving suggestions: In addition to those listed above, melt a pat on your favorite steak; toss it with pasta; melt it on steamed veggies; schmear it on a bagel; use it to make garlic bread; spread it with Ficoco on raisin toast…the possibilities are endless.

Source: Cow’s milk from Dairy Cattle that graze freely (for Nate) on Irish grass.

Before I go…let me leave you with a parting thought…do you know why leprechauns wear green undies on St. Patrick’s Day? To protect their lucky charms, of course…

Up next: Kerrygold Blarney Castle.

Hard Goat’s Cheddar

Before I begin, a special “shout out” to Michael from Beemster Cheeses  - I am having so much fun with the three Beemster mice you sent me via The Lady for my enjoyment. The Lady tosses them down the tile hallway and my chasing them amuses The Lady and The Man…humans…it doesn’t take a lot, does it?

Winner: 2009 Feline Foodie Award – Cheese That Belongs in the Litter Box

You may recall that I am not a fan of Caerphilly, a tasteless English cheese that reminds me of grade school craft paste that The Lady brought home for me to sample and review. Well, she topped herself by bringing me a sample of hard goat cheddar…what was she thinking?

It’s a well-known fact that The Lady hates goat cheese, ergo, doesn’t it logically follow that there would be no reason whatsoever that she bring home hard goat cheddar for me to taste and review? None, nada, ziparoo…Other than she has decided to take up cat torture as a sport…but I am one crafty feline, if it’s torture she wants, bring it on…where to start…2am is always a good time to wake and annoy her…works every time…oh right, back to this cheese review thing…

The Lady calls The Man every day when she leaves work…ah…isn’t that just adorable? She told him once that it is eleven minutes from the Glenn Jackson Bridge to our garage door. Last night I got a whiff of something that smelled like a rutting billy goat when The Lady was maybe four minutes north of the bridge. We tomcats (sadly, former tomcat, in my case) are renown for our keen sense of smell. One Burbank tom was rumored to walk two miles or more for an “available” female. As the minutes (and miles) ticked away, the smell got stronger and fouler. I had The Man let me out on the deck to check the yard for roaming Capra aegagrus.

When I heard the garage door opening, I was knocked over as the odor invaded the house and took my breath away. I began to hallucinate; something I gave up when The Brain instituted his “Just Say No” drug policy back in the 60s (Nancy Reagan ripped The Brain off and he’s still pissed…) after Timothy Leary’s feline observer “Tuned in, Turned on and Dropped Out” having fallen prey to the allure of the ganja. The good doctor did redeem himself when he wrote the best-seller, Your Brain is God; no doubt paying homage to The Brain. I digress…

The Man looked at me; I looked at him and we both bolted for the door to make sure The Lady hadn’t died upon arrival…nope The Lady was fine…it was what she carried in her hand that was causing my eyes to sting and my whiskers to curl.

Where do I start?

The first question is “Why in the world would any self-respecting Cheesemaker (even an English Cheesemaker) produce such a vile cheese?” This of course begs the second question, “Why in the world would any self-respecting cheesemonger (especially The Lady) sell such a vile cheese in her lovely kiosk?” And that of course begs the third and most perplexing question for this feline foodie, “Why in the world would anyone, even of the humankind persuasion, eat this vile cheese willingly?”

As has been discussed here, many stinky cheeses taste divine; Epoisses being the quintessential example; but there was no way in hell that this cheese was going to taste better than it smelled…nope, just wasn’t going to happen.

Amy, aka The Queen of Cheese and The Lady’s BCFF (best cheese friend forever), is not a big fan of this cheese either and for similar reasons; it smells horrific; it invades the nose; sets up camp; and refuses to leave.

In a previous incarnation, Amy raised goats and made fresh goat cheese also known as Chevre, if you are of the hoity-toity persuasion. She told The Lady a story about taking two of her goats to the vet during a rainfall. The female goat, known as a nanny goat (how cute is that?) happened to be “available” and loved to go for rides. She eagerly jumped up into the back of her SUV, ready to rock n roll…don’t these goats understand what a ride to the vet means?

The billy goat, named Copernicus, was not as eager to go to the vet, (perhaps he had heard “tales from the vet”). Even with a willing nanny already in the SUV, Copernicus resisted. Amy shoved; Copernicus shoved back. Amy lifted; Copernicus became dead weight making for some heavy lifting on Amy’s part. In the process Amy was covered with mud and pungent billy goat rutting aroma; the smell made more intense by the wet rain.

Personally, I understand the dilemma that Copernicus faced – getting laid immediately (strong incentive for any male) or the possibility of the vet neutering you and never getting laid again…what’s a guy to do??? This feline foodie hopes that Copernicus returned home intact (my first trip to the vet, I was not so lucky…).

According to The Lady, Amy relives the day every time she smells this English answer to German limburger.

Now that I have laid the groundwork, does the cheese taste better than it smells? Absolutely not…if anything, it tastes worse…what’s with the English? They really know how to give cheese a bad name.

One English Cheese maker claims that their hard goat cheddar is the perfect balance between goat and cheddar – my ass.

I give Hard Goat’s Cheddar NO Paws because this cheese should be dragged into the litter box and covered with sand; which is precisely what I did.

There are NO serving suggestions.

There are NO wine pairings other than if forced to eat this cheese; drink as much as possible to get drunk to forget the horror.

Ditto with beer pairings.

Source: Goats, God’s way of telling you that there are worse things than humankinds…

Awards: yeah, right…like that could ever happen.

Parting comments: Under NO circumstances should you eat this cheese unless you are crazy and The Lady tells me there are a lot of crazy folks who love this cheese…Sheesh…humans…

Ilchester’s Applewood Smoky Cheddar

Ilchester's Applewood

Vegetarian- Suitable Cheese

According to The Lady, you can smell the smoke when you cut into a wheel of this cheddar.

The Lady says this English cheddar from Ilchester Cheese in Somerset, England is worth its cost. Most of the English Cheddars she sells in the kiosk are not worth their cost per pound and she cannot justify purchasing them over a good aged Vermont or Tillamook cheddar. For her “everyday” cheddar The Lady buys the Vintage (aged over 2 years) White Tillamook cheddar (about $7.00 a pound). She likes it; The Man likes it and this Feline Foodie also likes it…but I digress…

Even though you can smell the smoke, this cheese is no longer actually smoked; it is flavored to re-create the smoky flavor from back in the day. It is a creamy cheddar and does not crumble like its sharper cousins. The outside is rubbed with paprika to give it a rich earthy clay look.

The Man especially likes this cheese and wishes The Lady would bring it home more often. So does this Feline Foodie.

It is vegetarian friendly as Ilchester uses vegetable rennet to start the cheese-making process.

Let this cheese stand at room temperature for at least a half hour to fully enjoy its flavor.

This Feline Foodie gives Applewood 4 out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving suggestions: Best as a table cheese on a cheeseboard with other fine cheeses. It melts well and can be used in sauces and goes well in a risotto dish. Goes nicely with sliced apples…imagine that…

Wine Pairings: Applewood goes well with merlot and shiraz grape wines. These will bring out the mature flavor of the cheese.

Beer Pairings: Hard Cider.

Awards: Yes, according to the Ilchester website but no mention as to what awards have been won.

Source: Cow’s Milk.

Explorateur Triple Creme

explorateur Triple Creme

Named after the first US Satellite, the Explorer, and in honor of the French participation with the US in the Space Program, this triple crème was created in the 1950s in the Isle de France. Its fat content is 75%. However, it is more flavorful and pungent that many of its triple-cream cousins.

It is produced as a squatty cylindrical disk and sold as a unit rather than being cut to order. In The Lady’s Kiosk it sells for $6.99 but I have seen it online, while doing my research, as high as $11.99 a unit, which is about 4 and a half ounces or $32.00 a pound for this sublime triple crème.

It is buttery and rich but has a firmer, more pate-like texture than Pierre Robert or Delice de Bourgogne. The affinage takes two weeks and gives this cheese a bloomy, Brie-like crusty rind. The bone-colored paste has a slightly salty and mushroom tang.

I give Explorateur 3 out of 4 Paws (cause that’s all I’ve got).

Serving Suggestions: An excellent dessert wine, try spreading Explorateur on crackers or a crusty French bread. Of course, I prefer my Explorateur on a bed of fresh field greens topped with a sublime leg of geococcyx californianus.

Wine Pairings: Prosecco or Sparkling Wine

Fat Content: 75%

Source: Cow’s Milk