Cheese, Glorious Cheese

August 6, 2008

The Lady has a new job. She’s a “Cheese Steward”; peddling specialty cheeses to the humankind in the Salmon Creek area north of Vancouver.

When I came to live with The Lady and The Man, they were both “retired”, which means they were home 24/7 to tend to my every whim and need. It was indeed a cushy life for this traveler. I had wandered the neighborhoods of the San Fernando Valley in Southern California looking for just the right humans to observe. The Brain approved my choice of two retired humans; older with lots of human experience and available for observations all day and all night. Later The Brain would reveal it was all part of his Master Plan; the Legendary Mike Tyson had previously observed The Lady and The Man. The Brain found them worthy of further study.

Now almost four years later, I understand his fascination with these two humankinds. Well actually, with The Man; he is one interesting humankind; you never know what he’s thinking up or thinking about. Sometimes The Lady just shakes her head; mumbles and exits through the nearest door. Often, you can hear a few snickers coming from her as well.

The Brain was happy when The Lady and The Man decided to move to the Pacific Northwest, a Quadrant that lacked proper observation. It seemed that every feline wanted to “go Hollywood” and the Los Angeles area of earth was over-run with shallow observers who just loved to report what Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were doing (the stories they told would curl your claws) and the antics of humans known as Britney and Paris (I thought Paris was a city in France, an important part of the Europa Sector, with lots of lights…and Britney was a Spaniel…). All this interest by my fellow felines was quite a surprise because other humankinds were constantly observing these “celebrity” humans and reporting their observations to the brain-less via something called tabloids. Go figure…

But I digress…a few months ago The Lady decided to un-retire and went to work at a gigantic human store that sells food. I liked the food part – more variety for me; but The Lady left me home during the day with The Man who had always been somewhat of a mystery to me. I found myself lonely and had less observing to do; the Man is a Creature of habit – his routines vary little from day-to-day. Also when I request my 3pm snack, most days The Man doesn’t understand my demands…but he is getting better; just a matter of better training on my part.

Two weeks ago The Lady got something called a promotion and she is now a Cheese Steward. I know…what the heck is that? Well, it’s someone who knows a lot about the cheeses of the world; a food staple that humans love to eat and enjoy. But the best part is she brings cheese home – to me!!

I’ll be reviewing cheeses as they arrive here at home…

Cheese, glorious cheese!

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6 Responses to “Cheese, Glorious Cheese”

  1. Spike Says:

    Well, Spaulding. I’d been wondering what happened to you. I miss our daily fights. Nothing worth observing in Burbank anymore. Cheese sounds good. Never tried it before. Maybe I’ll try the Pacific Northwest as well. Then we could fight again – if the Brain approves it, of course.
    Spike

  2. Linda Says:

    What a riot! I love it, always wondered what the felines really think of us… it all comes down to food eh? As I thought…

  3. jeff(peacesong) Says:

    i will stick with vermont cheddar. my all time favorite

  4. Missy and Manny Says:

    Spaulding, you lucky thing! We love cheese and don’t get it very often. We’ve been having to put up with wild kids chasing us and yelling at us for days now. A nice piece of cheese would be such a treat. We do get treats when we take all of our business outside, but it is so hot here and we even had a storm called Eduoard one day. And Manny doesn’t like the grass in our yard, says it hurts his feet. Being the lady that I am, i don’t mind the grass, we girls have so much to put up with!!

    I am going to take a long nap now, those wild kids are gone and for the first time in many days, the house is quiet and a good nap will be so wonderful.

    Missy

  5. as_I _can Says:

    Aside from not being a feline I share a similar fate at a nationally known grocer here in the PNW. Look forward to following your thoughts on fermented curds.


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