DPI: Spaulding Gray is Calling You Out

March 29, 2009

As most of you know by now, this feline foodie says what’s on his mind…but I was surprised to learn that DPI had blocked my blog from viewing by its employees…

I understand the concept of internet filters but what could I have possibly said that offended DPI’s filter or was of such a sexual nature to get gnarled up in their content web?

So I reviewed a few of my entries and wonder which of these comments caught the attention of “the man” in IT:

Was it:

Referring to why Monks invented so many good cheeses, wines and liqueurs: “…here’s a news flash…when you give up sex; there’s nothing left but eating and drinking.”

Maybe this was the one:

Recounting a conversation with The Brain about living with The Lady: “…the bad news was “she’s gonna chop off your balls”.

Perhaps calling the 535 Members of Congress “Rat Ass Bastards” went over the line, regardless of the truthfulness of the statement (The Lady’s feelings, certainly not mine…)

Maybe it was the “Who Cut the Cheese” video clip from Two and a Half Men. Fart jokes seem to delight most humankind males and offend humankind females…this feline foodie’s observation is it has to do with DNA.

Was it revealing that The Lady think Camillo Villegas, a young pro golfer, has a “cute butt”?

It might have been my empathic statement about Copernicus, the “randy” billy goat owned by at Amy, Queen of Cheese, when I stated, Personally, I understand the dilemma that Copernicus faced – getting laid immediately (strong incentive for any male) or the possibility of the vet neutering you and never getting laid again…what’s a guy to do???”

Hmmm…maybe I do deserve to be censored…nope…I just call em as I see em…

Call your Congressman, a member of the 535 Rat Ass Bastard Club…according to The Lady, and ask them to pass a Bailout Bill for this feline foodie. Better yet, call DPI and tell them to let Spaulding Gray back in the house…

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16 Responses to “DPI: Spaulding Gray is Calling You Out”

  1. Nightmoth Says:

    What is DPI?

  2. Nightmoth Says:

    Oh, good for me, I goggled it and now know. What a concept!

    Well SG, I must say you are not afraid to put your thoughts and feelings out there. Perhaps you might try a litle filtering yourself. And maybe, just maybe, the lady needs to have a chat with you about good taste, not only in cheese, but also in the art of speaking your mind in ways that do not offend but get the point across. Remember your audience is a diverse group of humankind and may not be as broad minded as your feline foodie friends, FFF for short. I know my canines bark unmercifully at commercials they view as inappropriate on TV, which earns them a swat on the butt and good scolding. Doesn’t seem to do much good however, perhaps a treat of cheese if they shut up would be a better approach.

  3. Nightmoth Says:

    P. S. Now I know why I am a fat drunk.

    • cheesemonger Says:

      TMI, nightmoth…good to hear from you…The Lady thinks the world of you…you are her favorite Texas friend.

  4. Anna Says:

    Hahahaha!!! I love it! If there was a way for me to show them this, I would, but since it’s blocked…..I’m screwed!

  5. Amy Pitzer-Wattam Says:

    Indeed, I actually spoke with our IT guy about this. He claims to feel our pain, since there are a few blogs that are censored by our happy, yet over-active, filter, that would be of benefit to our employees and ultimately our customers. I asked if he could un-filter you. He replied that he could not, and that the people to whom we would appeal to for such a resolution were highly unlikely to change their minds. Seems that “blogs” are blocked entirely, regardless of content. Additonally blocked are any sites that haven film clips or animation. Sex, of course, is right out. The Queen humbly beseeches you, Noble Spaulding Gray, to not take the slight of DPI’s internet filter too seriously, and to rest assured that those of us who really care are reading you at home and at the library.

  6. Nightmoth Says:

    Please tell the lady I watched Tiger win today and thought about her. I know she was watching if she wasn’t at the cheese factory and you were probably asleep in her lap, you lazy feline! MIssy went crazy barking each time Tiger was about to putt, don’t know if she was wishing him well or trying to distract him. I am sure you are much better behaved, just like my adorable little Manny, although Manny seems to think he is too good to put his tiny little paws on the grass these days. But after all, he is royalty. I”ll let you in on a little secret. Royalty poop is the same as common poop. OH dear, will I be banned for saying that?????

  7. cheesemonger Says:

    Yep, The Lady was watching and I mean WATCHING!!. She had it recording but knew with the weather delay it was running long. So she went live and the action was on the 17th hole when Tiger bogeyed to lose a stroke and go into a tie. When TW sank the birdie putt on 18, The Man and I thought she was losing her mind – all that hooting…not very “Lady” like. She does enjoy her golf…

  8. Sarah Says:

    Don’t worry sg. I am sneaky! Yay for my cell phone and the internet. I will still be a loyal reader and snicker quietly instead of roll and the floor laughing out loud.

    • cheesemonger Says:

      Sarah, if you send The Lady your email address via a message at Facebook, I will send you emails when I update the blog. But don’t tell The Lady, she doesn’t know I cracked her password code…it was soooo easy… humankinds, with all due respect, think they are so darned clever…


  9. […] Cheddar, complete with a Kangaroo on the packaging, is imported by DPI, the same folks who ban access to this very blog. I have been unable to discover who produces this “tasty” cheddar and if any of my loyal […]


  10. […] visited Wisconsin courtesy of the Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board and DPI (the same folks who have banned my blog from their internet network… but I digress…). The Lady chatted with Jerry right after his […]


  11. […] Marketing helped put the event together with Lactalis and the folks at DPI…yep, the same DPI that banned my blog … Russ, Anna, Sarah, Debbie and Doug were all there as well… it was a gathering of the best of […]


  12. […] for taking me off their banned blogs list and allowing their employees to once again read what I have to say, in the event anyone at DPI […]


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